| We are living in a world which is exposed to constant | | | | Commenting on the event, President Bush assured the |
| terror. A few days ago an individual was arrested at | | | | American public that no foreign units (even French) |
| JFK Airport. The flight he disembarked from was | | | | would be allowed to enter the USA. The citizens were |
| AL-LIE 2006 from the Far-Far East. When checked at | | | | warned not to make any contact with them. The result |
| the custom counter, the immigration officials noticed | | | | of immediate poll showed that 90% of population |
| the unusual excitement of one of the travellers. After | | | | reacted positively to the appeal. |
| a painstaking search, the suspicion was confirmed. The | | | | In his defence, the individual mumbled that he had been |
| individual, who pretended to be a university | | | | framed by his own daughter who had planted a bottle |
| basic-sciences lecturer, was in possession of | | | | of milk in his luggage as an expression of her love. He |
| suspicious and dangerous items. The customs official | | | | admitted that he had flown in from the Far-Far East in |
| reported that he was in possession of an eraser, a | | | | order to assist American science teachers. He |
| ruler, a protractor, vernier callipers, a bottle of milk and | | | | confessed that in spite of the recent Nobel prizes, he |
| a peculiar, coded book of non Anglo-Saxon origin on | | | | was very concerned about the quality of USA science |
| units and algorithms: "The 2006 Edition - SI Units, | | | | textbooks. He was also concerned that, according to |
| Conversion and Measurement Skills". The keywords: | | | | "Trumpet" magazine, the percentage of American |
| "conversion of units", "experimental science", "si | | | | students planning to pursue engineering degrees had |
| measurement", "English to metric", "fun tests", | | | | dropped from 36% to 6% over the last decade. The |
| "uncertainty", "power-of-ten", and "the da Vinci code" | | | | final straw that prompted him to board the plane was |
| sounded also very suspicious... | | | | a statement from his beloved Oprah, who mentioned |
| Obviously, the man contravened the recently imposed | | | | on prime time TV that high school students in the USA |
| flight regulations. Immediately he was whisked off to an | | | | had come 24th in international mathematics tests. He |
| undisclosed Central European interrogation camp. | | | | denied that the book he was carrying was a set of |
| Thanks to recently approved interrogation methods, | | | | instructions but rather a unique book on experimental |
| the officers quickly learned that the man was a | | | | science. He stated that the book was of a stimulating |
| member of the infamous Al-Gebra movement. He | | | | and entertaining nature and just what American |
| was charged with carrying weapons of math | | | | students needed. He maintained that Amazon had |
| instructions. It was found that Al-Gebra is a section of | | | | already been selling the book for some time at an |
| a fearsome, extremist scientific cult whose aim is to | | | | exorbitant price, far beyond the reach of the average |
| constantly increase knowledge of numbers with the | | | | American student and without the author's permission. |
| sole intention of conquering the world. They use secret | | | | (This bizarre message was passed to IIPCAG for |
| names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as | | | | investigaton). His intention was to find an honest |
| "Unknowns". What menaces the world is that in | | | | American publisher and to sell the book for the price |
| different countries, "Unknowns" change the names of | | | | ten times lower. Then he started a strange chant: "u - |
| their units to: fps, imperial, cgs, mks, KGB, si, ichi-foot, | | | | u-k and u - u-s-a, don't - de - lay, metri - cate!" |
| metric, tuzin-kopa and other strange denominations | | | | The officers came to the conclusion that although the |
| which make them difficult to follow. However, it has | | | | terrorist had been deprived of a lawyer and a doctor, |
| been determined that they belong to a common | | | | he should rather be admitted for psychiatric |
| denominator of illuminati with coordinates in every | | | | observation... |
| country on the earth from time immemorial... | | | | |