How Did Cougar Women Get So Picky? The Importance of the Three P's

Women are natural shoppers. I think it is because weThe "ewww" factor is important to women.
are hard wired from millions of years to be theIf the profile says nothing or very little or is illiterate, we
gatherers. Men hunt. Women gather. Men hunt for apass.
pair of shoes. Women gather many pairs of shoes.If there is even one little thing that makes our brain
Women have shopping reduced to an art form; eventhink,"pass," we pass.
a science. When we go to the grocery store, we areWhy? Because we are comparison shoppers. We
faced with half a dozen brands of chicken soup. Howprioritize. Remember those cans of soup and paper
do we decide which brand to buy?towels? In a nanosecond our brains determine where
We make comparisons. We look at the ingredients, thethey stand in rank order.
calorie count, how many fat grams there are, howFirst, second, third. Or pass.
much sodium there is, how many grams of sugar(Show me a man who has limited online success with
there are. Then we take notice of how many ounceswomen and I'll show you a man who hasn't taken the
of product are in the can, how much the can of souptime to properly perform The Three P's: Profile,
costs (after all, the more money we save, the morePictures, Presentation/Packaging.)
money we have to spend on...new shoes!). We do thisWe can shop in 5 stores in one day for an outfit and
for each brand of chicken soup on the shelf. We wantwe can look at hundreds of things and ONLY ONE will
the lowest calorie, highest ingredient, lowest fat andjump out at us where we say,"This is the one!"
sodium and sugar content, biggest bang for our buckFair or not, this is how it is. We are all competing with
we can get.each other in order to get what we want. We may be
Then we go on to the paper towel section. We wanton several dating sites and going out at night to places
two ply sheets and we look at the cost per sheet andwhere we can meet men. We compare them, rank
determine among the many brands of paper towelsthem, prioritize and categorize them and can meet
which is the best buy. Then we look at the paperdozens of men before one sparks attention in our
towel's decor. Do we want puppies, ducks or the onebrains to where we say,"This is the one!"
with the pretty colorful border on the side? We mayI wrote this article because I get a lot of emails from
not know which design we want until we find one thatguys who want to know why they are not getting any
trips our trigger, but one thing is for darn sure: We don'tattention from the women on this site. They lament
want plain white paper towels. That's boring!they have been here for months with no response. I
We are suckers for packaging and names. When welook at their profiles and pictures and I can fully
get our mani/pedi we are asked to choose a colorunderstand why. Dark, blurry pictures, no welcoming
from the rack of dozens of nail polish colors. We notfriendly smiles and no info in the profile. I find the ones
only look at the color, we look at the name of thewho gripe the most do the least to improve their
color. Blue isn't blue. It is "Firefly" or "Blue My Mind." Redchances of success. I suppose it is easier to criticize
isn't red. It is "That's Berry Daring" or "Charged Upothers than it is to take responsibility.
Cherry."If your picture looks like a mug shot, we will pass.
Thank God women are good at multitasking. We haveThen again, I get emails from men and women here
a lot of information to sift through in order to have ourwho tell me they have found their match and to
frontal lobes make these all important executiveplease remove their account.
decisions.So I know online dating works. And there is a lid for
We shoe shop. We like the red strappy sandals, butevery pot. And I preach till I am blue in the face about
the heel is too high. We like like the heel height on thethe importance of what I call The Three P's: Profiles,
pumps, but it is wide and chunky and it reminds us thatPictures and a Person's Presentation/Packaging. (After
we feel wide and chunky; so we look for a skinnycollege, I had a stint in national advertising where I
stilleto instead.wrote copy, produced and directed print, radio and
We like the boots, but we want something to go overtelevision commercials. The same principals apply
our calves. And we want taupe and the ones we arewhether the "product" is cosmetics, politicians or you.)
looking at are beige. BEIGE!!!Remember our lesson on how women comparison
Glittery things catch our eyes and we know aboutshop? Women look at the product, read the labels for
things such as cut, clarity and carat. We know theas much info as they can get, are attracted by the
difference between white gold, sterling and platinum.presentation/packaging. There are millions of profiles
Again, we are hard wired to pay attention to theonline at any given time. You have to think of yourself
details. If it isn't shiny, it must not be so good as the oneas a "product" and you have to brand and advertise
that is shiny. Who cares if all that glitters is not gold? Ifyourself in order to compete for attention. Sell your
you put some glitz in our nail polish, we will wear it andstrengths. Minimize your shortcomings. Be positive.
we will pass up on the whatever it is that is dull,Take a personal inventory of yourself and take steps
lackluster and boring. There is something about shinyto improve your "product". If you expect someone to
that excites activity in our brains and makes us want it.accept you "just the way you are" and you don't get
(That's why your talking about your souped upresponses, ask yourself if you are willing to accept
whatever it is under the hood of your car doesn't tripsomeone just the way they are if they are not at all
our trigger. We want to know what color it is.)what you want.
Don't even get me started on bathing suits. And if weI know this site has been successful at making happy
are lingerie shopping and find the lace demi bra that fitsmatches and members email and thank me before
and can't find the matching panties, we just give upthey leave. I look at the profiles of the women who
and go home.are happy with the men they meet and I look at the
Yeah. Women are picky. We are hard wired that way.men's profiles. They are looking for the same things in
We also have better olfactory senses than men. Thiseach other and their profiles pretty well match up in
is part of the survival instinct. We have to be able tothat regard. Voila!
smell when food has gone bad and shouldn't be eaten.So, if your profile is less than articulate, we will pass
We poke, prod and sniff produce before we buy it.(yes, women look at spelling and grammar. We are
Generally, we don't wait for stuff in the fridge to startdetail oriented.) Women love details and if your profile
turning green and look like a science experimenthas no details or it says,"I'll tell you if you ask me," we'll
before we toss it.pass. If we want LTR and your profile says Friends
We use these decision making processes in all areaswith Benefits, we pass. If you only have one picture
of our lives; even when it comes to looking for men.and it is dark and we can't see your face, we will pass.
We go online and look at men's profiles. If the picture isIf your height, education or any number of things does
too dark or the guy has a group shot up there and wenot match what's on our list, we pass. We want
can't tell who is who, we pass.something that suits us.
If the guy posts a goofy picture on his profile, we pass.And then again, so do you.